Too Many Excuses

WELL.........Here it is December and I just realize it has
been over a year since I updated my weightloss journey. So I think it just may be time. As I looked back and read my past entries it seemed as if this weight-loss thing has been a “piece of cake”. Let me just say, That is SO not true! This last year has been the hardest. As a matter of fact, the last time I checked, which was about 2 weeks ago, I
gained weight and Inches. NOT COOL!  But let me give you a rundown of why and how
I gained throughout the past year.
I
will start with December of 2011. December is always a rough month for me. I re-live such a traumatic time of my life that happened to me 6 years ago .Between my dad passing away just after Christmas of 2006 and quitting smoking on December 1st 2006, I re-live
each stressful day of that month every year.Now, Add the stress of the job I hated so much and finding out my “first child” Brandi, AKA the family dog was diagnosed
with cancer. I started to fall into a depression once again. Although I LOVE the holiday season, I put on such a good poker face every year. I stayed strong through it all and managed to stick to my diet and exercise routine. I was so proud of myself ! ....Then
the New Year rolled in..... Most of you know about the accident that happen with my friend who was the designated driver for myself and a few friends on New Years Eve.Well, It took a HUGE toll on his family, but also his friends as well. I tried so hard to keep my poker face on, but I was secretly stressing over his and his family’s situation. For me, just like most people, Stressing means EATING CRAP! A few weeks after the new year, We
ended up saying our goodbyes to our beloved Brandi. I felt so empty for a while. Food was the only thing keeping me Fulfilled. (at least  that’s what I thought) . Just as I was ready to get back on track, I found out I had Plantar’s warts
on the bottom of both my feet. The treatment  took a few weeks, and kept me from working out.It was so bad I could barely walk. The day the first round of coach’s received their certifications, I  couldn’t even walk the 10 steps to get
mine, I crawled. I did however manage to stay on my healthier eating habits. While all of this was going on, I noticed my weight stood still for quite some time and so did my inches. It was very frustrating.
In March I made a bold move. I quit my full time job to come work at Palangi and step back
into the world of Hair. I knew it would be a struggle, But my husband and I knew we would make it work somehow.  I had a chance for a new start.  It was like my own personal “New Year”. I was on top of my workouts but not 100% on my healthier
eating. But I was losing inches. So I was happy and content. I had a personal goal before my family cruise in July, to lose 10 pounds. ( which did not happen). Things went great until my Mom ( who lives with me) ended up in the hospital. Then I was bouncing
back and forth between 2 jobs, a hospital room, and home, and getting ready for vacation. (I was going on this vacation one way or another!) I kind of put the healthier eating off to the way side. By the time our cruise came around I wasn’t working out
or eating right. I did however make a promise to myself on vacation to workout, which I did, but II ate like I was never going to eat again on the cruise. Needless to say, the vacation eating brought me up 7 pounds in 1 WEEK! 
Since my vacation, I have tried and tried to lose that 7 pounds. I lost 2 of
the 7 pounds but gained  back 23 since then. I realized I fell back into old habits. Which needs to stop now!
The last few months have been extremely hard because I have lacked willpower and came up with so many excuses NOT to work out whether it be at Palangi or the Gym. . I have continued
to stress eat, boredom eat, holiday eat, “oh the hell with it” eat, you name it,
I had many different excuses NOT to eat right.Now I’m paying for it. I can’t fit into my clothes from last year! That was the “What the F^&K!?!?” moment I had, when i decided “ I will not do this to myself again!” How
can I work so hard and then let it all go, because of EXCUSES.?
Today I questioned myself. how come the first year was SO easy??? at least it seemed that way. until I went and reread all that I wrote on my weightloss journey. What a wake up call! I basically re-lived my journey in a few short minutes and realized I am again becoming that person I once was.The one who didn’t care and
made excuses NOT to do the “right” thing. I don’t want that person to come back. I do however want to move forward once again in this journey and show everyone how it’s done and that it can be done. I want to be able to help myself and also help the others who are living this nightmare addiction to food  to meet their
goals in 2013.
Starting now, I will
be taking baby steps towards the new year making better choices and fitting in more workouts and living the life that doesn’t revolve around food.I will still  be wearing my” poker face”, because thats the only way I will get through
this month, but I will wear it in a way that I haven’t worn it yet, with a positive outlook on this journey.